..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
