bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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