U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
