i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
