Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
