We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
