you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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