i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
