But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Princesses don't give blow jobs
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I need a beard to bite.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
