Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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