Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
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Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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