If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
NoShamevember. You game?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
