have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
