Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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