Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
