aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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