You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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