she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
