Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
