Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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