D3 body, D1 cock
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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