I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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