Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize