Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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