my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
now i know why i became what i already was.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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