I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
