doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
40s are totally the cure
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
