Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You've changed since you got that strap on
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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