I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
