So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
