um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
