Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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