dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
