I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother