hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Someone shattered a urinal.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?