I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm at about main and main street
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.