If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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