her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize