4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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