Having a random hookup so left but love u
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
