Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
