Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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