Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize