girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
