I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
