You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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