woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
