Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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