Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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