yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
it's like heaven, but drunker
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
