i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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