I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
