You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
