ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
