Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
