i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
