Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
