I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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