This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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