we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
