Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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