i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
