and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
